Old Writing
Okay, I know I didn't have a proper post last Monday, but this time I'm going to have one. While doing some cleaning last week I discovered an old short story that I wrote for an assignment four years ago. The writing is very passive and isn't my best, but I wanted to share anyway.
The Christmas Horse
November 2005
November 2005
The auction house bustled with the usual afternoon activity. Sitting in the front row of the seats were Rachael and her mother. As the next horse was led into the ring they both sat on the edge of their seats. This was the horse they had been waiting for. He was a big chestnut Clydesdale with brilliant white feathers on his feet and a large white strip on his forehead in the shape of a Christmas tree.
The bidding had started and it was very slow. No one seemed to want the big horse. The bidding, after much time, reached $100. The price rose slightly as Rachael's mom and a man in the back row fought for the big horse. The price eventually reached $150. Rachael held her breath as the man in the back row quit the fight and left the auction house. The horse was pronounced sold to Rachael's mom and as promised her mom presented the big horse to Rachael.
After 2 weeks the big horse, whom she named Jingle, was flourishing in the wonderful home he had. After a while Rachael began to train Jingle for the Christmas Parade, in which he would be pulling a sleigh. She bought a harness covered with large golden bells. Her mom helped her repaint the large sleigh from the old barn and prepare for the parade.
On the day of the parade Rachael got up early and groomed Jingle's coat until it shined like a new penny. She hosed off the sleigh inside the barn and polished the sides until it looked like new. Then she polished the harness and hooked Jingle to the sleigh. When her mother finished the morning farm chores Jingle was waiting next to the stairs at the front of the house. A light snow had started to fall and Jingle's mane and back were already coated with the sparkling snow. Her mom bundled up plenty of blankets and they set off for Tart St. for the start of the parade. They were to be at the front of the parade. They paraded down the streets, Jingle picking his feet up high in a lively trot The marching band followed behind them, cheerily playing Jingle Bells.
Close to end the snow slowly began to stop. when the parade came to a stop Rachael stood up in the sleigh and waved to the crowd. Everyone clapped and she smiled in happiness, still waving at the joyful crowd. Jingle shook his head and whinnied to the crowd.
That was completely unedited; I took it straight from my assignment. It would've been better, but we were limited to a page and a half double-spaced, typed. I had this whole story planned out where Jingle was going to be neglected and Rachael had to bring him back to health, but we didn't have enough space. I'm thinking about rewriting this story soon. The way I wanted it to be written the first time.
Sometimes it's fun to go back and look at old stories. They're good for laugh or a cringe, thinking 'this is horrible! I wrote this?!' But that just shows how much you have improved. :D
The bidding had started and it was very slow. No one seemed to want the big horse. The bidding, after much time, reached $100. The price rose slightly as Rachael's mom and a man in the back row fought for the big horse. The price eventually reached $150. Rachael held her breath as the man in the back row quit the fight and left the auction house. The horse was pronounced sold to Rachael's mom and as promised her mom presented the big horse to Rachael.
After 2 weeks the big horse, whom she named Jingle, was flourishing in the wonderful home he had. After a while Rachael began to train Jingle for the Christmas Parade, in which he would be pulling a sleigh. She bought a harness covered with large golden bells. Her mom helped her repaint the large sleigh from the old barn and prepare for the parade.
On the day of the parade Rachael got up early and groomed Jingle's coat until it shined like a new penny. She hosed off the sleigh inside the barn and polished the sides until it looked like new. Then she polished the harness and hooked Jingle to the sleigh. When her mother finished the morning farm chores Jingle was waiting next to the stairs at the front of the house. A light snow had started to fall and Jingle's mane and back were already coated with the sparkling snow. Her mom bundled up plenty of blankets and they set off for Tart St. for the start of the parade. They were to be at the front of the parade. They paraded down the streets, Jingle picking his feet up high in a lively trot The marching band followed behind them, cheerily playing Jingle Bells.
Close to end the snow slowly began to stop. when the parade came to a stop Rachael stood up in the sleigh and waved to the crowd. Everyone clapped and she smiled in happiness, still waving at the joyful crowd. Jingle shook his head and whinnied to the crowd.
That was completely unedited; I took it straight from my assignment. It would've been better, but we were limited to a page and a half double-spaced, typed. I had this whole story planned out where Jingle was going to be neglected and Rachael had to bring him back to health, but we didn't have enough space. I'm thinking about rewriting this story soon. The way I wanted it to be written the first time.
Sometimes it's fun to go back and look at old stories. They're good for laugh or a cringe, thinking 'this is horrible! I wrote this?!' But that just shows how much you have improved. :D
Comments
Being a teen author/reader: I'm currently running a Character Name Change contest and could use your input. Just check out the FUN STUFF page on my website for more details: www.celisedowns.com