5 Things I've Learned from Dating in the Dark

Lately I've become re-addicted to Dating in the Dark. If you've never seen the show, they take three guys and three girls and put them in the same house, but they're only allowed to meet in the dark room where it's impossible to see your hand in front of your face. At the end of the dates, they are each allowed to pick someone they want to see in the light. Then they can meet on the balcony if they want to keep dating, or walk away. It's actually a pretty fascinating show.

#1 Looks really do matter
They're definitely not the only thing that matters by no means, but physical attraction is important. It surprises how many people say "I'm going to meet this person on the balcony regardless of what they look like" who end up walking out the front door. The biggest things seem to be how old/young a person looks, how heavy/skinny they are, or how they'd fit in with that person's friends.
#2 Chemistry counts
Chemistry really counts between the couples and there are varying degrees of it. Some couples hit it right off, but eventually realize they won't work. Or one person feels an instant connection and the other one doesn't. Some couples just awkwardly sit there in the dark for one of their dates. Some couples take time to get to know each other. Very few of them meet on the first group date and say "this is the one I want to see in the light." Just like there are very few real "love at first sight" connections in the real world. There was even one couple that hit it off right away, but when the guy revealed on their second date that he couldn't handle dating a girl that he thought was "fat," the girl dumped him right away.

#3 Consider voice
The house's first date is a group date where all three guys and all three women sit at a table and just talk for awhile. Because there's very little one-on-one, no chance of reading body language, and very little touching, the first impression everyone has of each other comes through in their voice.

#4 Who you're compatible with isn't always the person you have a connection with
For the second or third date, couples take a compatibility test and are matched up with the person that the test feels they should be the most compatible with. Sometimes the test matches couples up with the person they also felt the most chemistry with. Sometimes the matched couples don't hit it off at all.

#5 You can tell a lot about somebody by their things
During the show, things are brought in from each of the contestant's. The guys are allowed to go through the girl's things and vice versa. One episode they brought in each person's car. One episode the guy's went through the girls' purses and the girls went through the guys' wallets. The clothes they slept in the night before. The clothes they were wearing the day they arrived at the house. Video tapes of their best friends' opinions on each person. And it's true that you really can tell a lot about a person by looking at their things or their friends.

Just some things I've been thinking about and trying to incorporate into my characters to make them feel even more real.

Comments

Unknown said…
I've caught the occasional episode, and I have to agree with your #1. It's funny how they really like someone and is instantly turned off by the way they look.
January 18, 2011 at 5:28 PM
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